An extraordinary thing started to occur from the moment we let a cat into our home, hearts and refrigerator. Slowly and without any warning, the animal began switching traits with our female Jack Russell, SOJA.
Big Ball, as we affectionately call him, having glimpsed the full growing power of male cat hormones, is now actually a dog.
You see, it started with their food dishes. We noticed that upon feeding the both of them, inevitably, Big Ball would halt eating his gooey nibblets in “salmon” gravy to join SOJA at her plate. Over time, SOJA decided she’d rather risk “salmon”-notta poisoning and avoid the rogue whiskers by dashing to dine at the cat’s unoccupied plate instead.
Within 3 weeks Big Ball had coerced the dog into eating cat food every time.
Meanwhile, their swapped sleeping habits similarly converged on the bizarre.
Once strictly a lap and cushion dog, SOJA took to climbing to the very tippy top of our sofas to avoid the frisky post-blanket-hump pesterings of the perpetually horny Big Ball. She’d perch up there nervously, for hours on end, in a very un-dog-like fashion.
Left to establish dominion over the remaining 99% of the house, the cat singlehandedly rubbed its balls over every surface and article of clothing. No kitchen tile was left untarnished.
The cat also started sleeping like a dog. On particularly hot afternoons it would lay face-down, spread-eagle on the cool floor, expanding to roughly 4 times its normal size, not a care in the world or a passing glance given to size 13 flip flops overhead.
I have to wonder, do they do it on purpose? Maybe this whole game is a mindfuck for us humans. Maybe it’s our pets’ way of getting us back for feeding them what looks like pressurized rabbit turds and shredded fish guts.
Honestly though, I’ve never seen two animals better suited to each other. Sure, the dog now cowers behind furniture when visitors knock on the door. And yes, our cat bites. But I’d like to think they’re both happier now, having found their true personalities in another’s traits.