Tuesday, August 28th, 2012
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To say that we were excited to get on the road would be a complete and utter understatement. We camped out in the parking lot of Walmart in Reno overnight Monday and were dying to part ways with civilization (read: give the man the finger). Not to mention that we felt we had overstayed our welcome because the RV was sneakily leaking piss out onto the tarmac. We even practiced driving our rented pedal bikes around the parking lot, pretending that we were riding through sand and gale force winds. Must have looked pretty comical.

Our first stop that morning was Starbucks across the street. While J and I enjoyed our final meal of bagels and sandwiches, S slipped into the bathroom to wash and shave. Yes, he snuck a raser with him in his jacket pocket. He emerged after 10 minutes with a huge grin on his clean-shaven face, looking extremely pleased with himself. “Saved us using the water in the camper!” J was definitely impressed.

Next we drove to Bed, Bath and Beyond to pick up final supplies. Believe it or not but the place hadn’t even opened yet so there we are camped out in yet another parking lot in the damn RV. Naturally, the task of driving several hours through the desert was the only thing that prevented S from cracking his first beer. We commiserated with a fellow early-morning shopper and generally wreaked havoc while we waited.

Finally the doors open. Striding purposefully into BB&B we were immediately overwhelmed by the racks and racks of miscellany, all of which suddenly seemed invaluable for a week on the Playa. Turvis Tumbler glasses with lids? Perfect blizzard survival item. Water bottles with straws? All the better to drink liquor. Come on, it’s not as if we had ANY intention of getting wasted on the trip. I knew it was time to leave when S walks up with a silk pillow case. God forbid we have to rough it too much.

Back into the RV we went and the journey began. Miles of highway stretched into the horizon before us and shopping complexes were quickly replaced with sparse, flat-roofed homes nestled amongst burnt orange hills. “Who would ever live out here?” we asked again and again. Buildings became fewer and fewer along Pyramid Way until, finally, we reached an opal-blue lake. Stretching on for miles it appeared out of place next to its dry and desolate surroundings.

Nixon, the first town we approached was little more than a gas station and a fireworks retailer. Other burners had parked their vehicles and were enjoying the sun and the view from a rock wall near the road. Some of them had already taken off their shoes and donned Playa attire. A few had even cracked open their first bottle of vodka. We laughed and made our final phone calls to concerned relatives. “I love you booger,” my dad said as he hung up. The feeling of disconnect as we stepped into the RV and turned off our phones was incredible.

J and I popped our first Blue Moons en route to Empire, the second-to-last town before Black Rock Desert. More and more Burners were accumulating road-side  and we stopped at the convenience store to get rid of S’s extra ticket. Easier said than done apparently. S approached a wild, flower-adorned eastern European lady who had just been fined by the police for attempting to sneak through the gates naked. She had hiked all the way back to Empire (yes, clothed) and was desperate for a ticket. Naturally J and I stood there laughing as S tried to converse logically with this woman who quite clearly was in her own little universe. After explaining for the tenth time that the extra ticket was not in our possession but instead need to be picked up at Will Call, we gave up. S wasn’t interested in transporting this lady in our RV and it would have been practically impossible for us to meet up with her  at the entrance. S also didn’t know whether the pick-up name on the ticket could be changed.

Empire was a cool little spot. Beside the convenience store were several Burner booths selling goggles, costumes, EL wire, steampunk clothing and the mix. The atmosphere was no longer anything like the “Default World” as if the strings of reality had been cut and tossed into the wind. Free spirited glances betray the excitement we feel.

Leaving Empire we dug out our Home Depot respirators and I decorated mine with sharpie markers. About half an hour later we pulled up in Gerlach and made one last attempt to give away S’s ticket. S walked off to chat with a couple who had a “Need Ticket” sign propped up against their truck on the side of the road while J and I explored Bruno’s Country Club. Unbeknownst to us S got back in the RV and was about to drive off. Apparently he made a comment from the driver’s seat and turned around to see what was wrong when he didn’t hear  a response from J and I. Panicked, he ran out of the RV and literally barged into a local’s home thinking it was a restaurant. S said the look on the man’s face as he stormed into the living room was priceless. Here we are not even on the Playa and J and I are lost. Classic.